Archive for the ‘Communication & Conflict Related’ Category
October 20th, 2009 | 
Author: Principles of Defusing Hostility
Follow these principles when dealing with an angry person to succeed! (see BOTH parts)
If You Lose Control, You Lose, Period!
Manipulative nasty behaviour is designed to affect you emotionally so that you will become aggressive or defensive. When we lose our cool and defend ourselves or become aggressive we actually end up doing what the other nasty person wants us to do…and we lose because we enter into an ugly game where nobody can win. Self-control is critical, and that has a particular meaning. It means that we control our behaviour. You are entitled to be angry or upset if you choose but you can learn to control your behaviour and the way you express that anger or upset so something good comes from it. Here are some tips: Read the rest of this entry »
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Principles of Defusing Hostility
Follow these principles when dealing with an angry person to succeed! (see BOTH parts)
Deal With Person’s Feelings First
An angry person needs to have the issue AND their feelings addressed in order to start interacting constructively. The angrier the person, the more important it is to acknowledge their anger through the use of empathy statements and listening responses FIRST, before moving on to the issue. Problem solving with angry people often results in wasted time unless they are ready to participate calmly. Read the rest of this entry »
There are lots of ways to look at conversations and discussions. One way is to categorize conversations as being either “good faith” conversations, or “bad faith” conversations. What we want to do is be party to the former, and try to avoid the latter, since bad faith conversations are the ones that cause bad feelings, frustration and anger, and don’t tend to be useful in solving problems. Read the rest of this entry »
People say all sorts of things, and make all kinds of statements. Some of those are very meaningful, even profound and worth paying attention to. But a good percentage of what people say and write actually have no meaning whatsoever. Here’s an example. Tom is known to champion various positions and he says: “I am strongly in favor of individual rights and people taking responsibility”. Read the rest of this entry »